Last week 24/2006

The media reported that terrorist leader and Al Qaeda commander Abu Musab al Zarqawi had been killed in Iraq. Social Democratic Party (ČSSD) chairman Jiří Paroubek apologized to the nation’s citizens for – while he was his shock over the Civic Democratic Party’s (ODS) victory – calling the recent elections the “new February 1948” and announcing that he would not recognize the result. “It was the first serious mistake I made in my 13 months leading the government, and from that perspective I apologize to the Czech public,” said Paroubek. Nicole Vaidišová beat Venus Williams in Paris. Brno closed Bakeš Hospital on Yellow Hill. Before submitting its demission, Paroubek’s cabinet joined Bono Vox’s plan to help destitute Africa and agreed to forgive half a billion in debts of the continent’s poorest countries.

Meteorologists announced that warm weather was finally on the way. Businessman Tomáš Pitr, who complicated the privatization of the chemical giant Unipetrol for the Social Democrats and was therefore labeled an “enemy of the state” by the prime minister, was sentenced by a Prague court to five years in prison for a twelve-year-old case of tax fraud. The public television network decided to pit the British educational series Magic and Manipulation of the Mind against the very popular TV series on the commercial networks. Czech football players departed to Germany for the World Cup. “To the time when the pope died; it’s a space station where some astronauts are sitting and John Paul returns to it, which is an image I like,” said the front man of the popular Ostrava band Buty when asked by the Pravo daily, “Which event does your song Karel Sleeps relate to?” Suzanne Vega switched to Blue Note. Gripen fighters flew from Čáslav to Pardubice. The newly elected deputy Pavel Ploc (ČSSD) announced that two unknown men offered him a five-million-crown bribe to join the Green Party, which would solve the current mandate stalemate of 100:100 with the coalitional camps of ODS – Christian Democratic Party (KDU-CSL) – Green Party and the red grouping of ČSSD plus the Communists; the police started investigating the case but the fact that an unknown “source” from the executive leadership of ČSSD sent a message about the alleged political corruption attempt to all the newspapers just an hour after Ploc’s announcement gave rise to much suspicion. Čeljabinskyj truboprokatnyj závod acquired the Czech bathroom fittings maker MSA. Customs officers in Rozvadov seized a container of counterfeit pictures of the cartoon character Krteček. Petr Smetka, who headed the bankrupt company H-Systém, was sentenced to twelve years in prison for swindling thousands of clients out of their life savings via a fraudulent promise of building houses for them and thereby robbing them of one billion crowns. “Considering the size of the company, my income definitely isn’t exorbitant,” said ČEZ CEO Martin Roman, commenting on the interest aroused when it came out that for managing the state-owned energy monopoly he had received a quarter-billion-crown bonus and “motivational advantages” in the form of life insurance policies on top of his regular million-crown salary. The average wage increased to 19,000 crowns per month. Tesco started resuscitating its recent acquisition, the Carrefour chain. The emerging government coalition divvied up the ministerial posts with 9 going to ODS, 3 to KDU-CSL, and 2 to the Green Party. Newspapers reported that Petr Lachnit should become the ambassador in Paris and Karel Kühnl in Japan. Prague city hall appealed a court verdict ordering it to pay two and a half million crowns in compensation to British tourist Malcom Tuffin, who was seriously injured with permanent consequences when a giant Christmas tree in Old Town Square fell on him during a visit to Prague three years ago. Škodaexport won a contract to revitalize India’s Nizampatman port in the Gulf of Bengal. The increase of consumer loans exceeded half a billion crowns and the board of the central bank cautioned poor households not to become any more indebted because they could find themselves in very serious trouble in the event of even a minor economic tremor. Scientists discovered that humans crossbred with chimpanzees numerous times along their evolutionary journey. Tea package queen Gerda Briggeman of Rotterdam visited a collector’s market in Prague. Financiers from PPF started preparations for their expedition to Ukraine. Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards recently fell on his head from a coconut tree in New Zealand, and the band announced that the June concert in Brno would have to be rescheduled because a blood clot has to be removed from the guitarist’s head. “Don’t succumb to weakness because I hate weakness; as long as I’m alive, I can,” replied the popular rapper Gypsy when asked by the Lidové noviny daily, “What is your life philosophy in three sentences?” The National Theatre hosted Johann Kresnik. TV Nova announced it would look for a third Czech SuperStar.